by Katy Kappele
Despite rumors to the contrary, I’m not out to fulfill a quota or to exact revenge on people in the parking lot. I’m there to make parking a pleasant experience for everyone, which tickets are intended to achieve. So, without further ado, how to avoid parking tickets:
1. DO park between the lines. The white lines are not your friends, and my best advice to treat them like dirty strangers on the bus and stay between them and never touch them. If you park on the line or over the line, not only will you get a ticket, you will also be making it difficult to park next to you and doors may slam into your car by accident.
2. DO NOT park in no-parking zones. These include yellow no-parking curbs, parts of the parking lot that are striped with horizontal white lines, loading zones, and fire lanes. Theoretically you could get towed. You will get a ticket. If there is a fire and you are in the fire lane, the fire department will break your windows to move your car out of the way of their trucks.
3. DO display your handicap permit. A Whatcom ticket is $25, which is way better than a Bellingham Police ticket, which runs upwards of $300. If your permit is displayed and viable, you shouldn’t get a ticket.
4. DO NOT park in visitor parking. If you are or ever have been a student at Whatcom, you will be ticketed for parking in visitor parking. I don’t care if you are going to be there for two minutes, or just to print something, or to pick someone up. You aren’t a visitor. Don’t park here. If you have a broken leg or a sprained ankle, ask in LDC 144 for a permit.
5. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT try to run over parking monitors. This does not endear you to us and will result in a ticket and an angry letter from Administrative Services. Restrain yourselves from beating feat out of there. You trying to run us over admits to us that you knew you were breaking the rules and deserve a ticket and fills us with rage and adrenaline. Most of the time, I’m just reading your bumper stickers.
So now you know. If you have $15 dollars burning a hole in your pocket, we are happy to take it from you, but I recommend the Bellis Fair Cinema instead. Movies are way more fun for everyone.